Flat-Earther Plans Homemade, Manned Rocked Launch This Coming Saturday

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Most Americans will spend Saturday in varying degrees of stupor, having just consumed a month’s worth of calories and/or spent a month’s worth of income. But not Mike Hughes. Mike, a 61-year-old limo driver has spent the past few years building a homemade, steam-powered rocket. This initial rocket — which hasn’t been tested, evaluated, or designed by anyone with what you’d call expertise — is meant to fling Hughes roughly a mile at a speed of 500 mph.

“If you’re not scared to death, you’re an idiot,” Hughes told the Associated Press. “It’s scary as hell, but none of us are getting out of this world alive. I like to do extraordinary things that no one else can do, and no one in the history of mankind has designed, built and launched himself in his own rocket. I’m a walking reality show.”

Hughes, an avowed flat-earther, has launched previous rockets before, though none designed to take him as far as a mile. A previous launch attempt with an earlier, less-powerful rocket design is embedded below (the parachute design is quite… interesting).

The pioneering self-taught would-be astronaut eventually wants to build a rocket capable of taking him to space, so he can photograph the flat Earth and illustrate, once and for all, that modern scientists are all a part of a globalist (that’s the word they use) conspiracy to hide the truth of a flat Earth because… I actually have no idea.

“I don’t believe in science,” said Hughes, whose main sponsor for the rocket is Research Flat Earth. “I know about aerodynamics and fluid dynamics and how things move through the air, about the certain size of rocket nozzles, and thrust. But that’s not science, that’s just a formula. There’s no difference between science and science fiction.”

Mike Hughes

Hughes previously survived the 1,374-foot rocket launch but needed several days to recover from the g-forces involved. His plans for a steam-driven rocket might sound foolish, but low-powered rockets that run on steam have been built on multiple occasions. The problem with steam rockets is that they typically require a pressurized containment vessel (if you’re using high pressures and temperatures) that’s very heavy, while a simpler design relies mostly on liquid water and produces very little steam. It’s not clear if any steam-powered rocket could accomplish Hughes goal of reaching space (or even the upper atmosphere).

Given that there’s no difference between science and science fiction, ExtremeTech readers interested in observing the Hughes launch are invited to beam aboard the USS Enterprise, where I’ll take you on a guided tour and demonstrate some cutting-edge Force powers I’ve been perfecting. After a light snack, we’ll warp to Trantor to visit its amazing library and tour a nearby Edenist habitat and its attendant helium-3 mining facilities. Our evening among the stars will conclude with drinks with famed science fiction author Kilgore Trout. The cost? Just 10,000 Buckazoids, payable in advance.

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