In a new clip from an all-new episode of Total Bellas, taped before their breakup last month, the 34-year-old wrestler admits she was feeling “lonely.”
“What’s hard at times and what people don’t realize about my relationship is I’m alone a lot and I’m alone in these big, beautiful homes, which you’re like, gosh, I mean, these homes are unreal,” Bella says. “But to be honest, since we’ve gotten engaged, John and I have probably shared our bed together maybe 30 days total out of, like, six months. Or, like, 40 days.”
Bella continues: “So hearing Brie and Lauren, JJ and Bryan all talk about their family stuff and their kids, it makes it, like, sink in a little bit more of how lonely it will be and how lonely it gets.”
The footage comes just one day after ET caught up with Bella at NBCUniversal’s upfront presentation in New York City, where she revealed she’s holding out hope for a reconciliation with Cena.
“John is such an amazing man. He really is the love of my life,” Bella exclusively told ET. “I truly hope one day that we can work it out and get back together. I think there is hope.”
“I just want us both to live the rest of our lives happy,” the WWE superstar continued. “Hopefully that’s together, maybe it’s not. Right now I’m just focusing on me. I think I kind of lost me and now I want to find [myself].”
“It’s been incredibly reflective, which is amazing, but it is very difficult — I had my heart broken out of nowhere, or for me, it was out of nowhere,” he said. “And anyone who has experienced that knows that it comes with a series of bad feelings.”
The Blockers star continued: “I don’t want anybody else. I love Nicole. I’m really trying to support her in her trying to find whatever it is she wants that made this fall apart in the first place, and in doing so, I’m also just trying to live. But I don’t have any other hopes, other than one day that we can work it out.”
As for not wanting children, Cena said he’s changed his mind about that too.
“I’m willing to go back on all of these things I said, and a lot of things I was holding on to just out of stubbornness — ‘I won’t have kids’ — and it took a really strong look in the mirror for me to be like, ‘Why?’ This person is my number one, and it’s something that’s very valuable to her, and of course we can do this … all of that switched because I love her,” Cena admitted. “She’s my number one and I just want to make her happy … and right now, she’s happy.”
“For anyone who’s speculating what’s going on, I love her, I want to be with her. I want to make her my wife. I want to be the father of her children. I just want us to work,” Cena shared.